


It's our war memories

by AgapantoBlu



Series: Short-fics from Agap's Schrödinger Tumblr [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Gen, Internalized Homophobia, Mention of - Freeform, Queer Themes, These boys went through some shit and now they Are hot shit, conversion therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 12:24:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17001612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgapantoBlu/pseuds/AgapantoBlu
Summary: Nicky and Jeremy met long before collegiate Exy, at the conversion therapy camp. They talk about it in a bathroom.Kevin is confused, but DTH (Down To Hug).





	It's our war memories

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Mention of Conversion Therapy and Internalized Homophobia. But it's all just briefly mentioned.

 

_"_ You know better than trying,“ someone says from behind him and Jeremy groans.

“Would you mind?“ he tries, “I’m taking a piss.“ He is, he is actually standing at the urinal, but god forbids Nicholas Esteban Hemmick cares about the little details such as this.

“I’m not embarrassed, and it’s not like I’ve never seen your dick before.“

Jeremy briefly considers hitting his forehead against the wall, but this is the Breckenridge bathrooms and he doesn’t dare. Instead, he finishes and moves rapidly to the sink to wash his hands.

Mistake on his part, he can see it. Nicky takes the chance to move between him and the exit door. “Really? This is how you want to do this?”

“I _don’t_  want to do this at all, actually,“ Jeremy huffs. “Why do you want to?“ Nicky arches a brow and crosses his arms in front of his chest. Jeremy is unimpressed. “Did your cousins teach you that?”

Finally, Nicky snorts and stops posturing. He shakes his head, but takes an easy step closer that Jeremy doesn’t feel like faulting him for. When Nicky gets close enough to touch, he does so with a gentle brush of his fingertips to Jeremy’s slackened wrist. Jeremy knows what he’s looking for, but he won’t find anything. He’s doing so much better than at sixteen, now.

“You were the only one who was there because he signed himself in,” Nicky mutters. “I just wanted to make sure.”

He doesn’t explain _sure of what_ , but Jeremy knows he probably couldn’t explain it if he tried. He can get the hint though. He remembers enough of sixteen years old Nicky, crying himself to sleep, praying endlessly, hurting so badly. 

“I wanted to check on you, the first year,“ he admits. “When I saw you, I thought I was crazy. Rumor had it that when they let you out of the camp you jumped on a flight for Europe and never came back. Someone even said you got yourself a boyfriend there. The therapists wouldn’t let us ask about you, they got all mad when we did, so I guessed it was all true. But then you were here and I didn’t understand.“ He hesitates. “I feared maybe they did _fix_  you.“

“Nothing to fix,“ Nicky says, firm, shaking his head. His fingers snake around Jeremy’s wrist to hold him tight, a reminder of his true, physical existence. “I got out, I went to Germany, I found myself a boyfriend there who helped me get back on my feet. I came back, collected my stuff and moved there. I had to return again for my cousins, I wasn’t going to let my parents get them. But hey, I still do have that German boyfriend, and I love him very, _very much._ “

Jeremy giggles at the way Nicky moves his eyebrows. He shakes his head. “You’re an idiot,” but he doesn’t mean it. Instead, he shrugs a bit, embarrassed. “My parents found the real papers for the camp in my room while my mom was cleaning it. They came running to pick me up and get me very far from there. They found me an affirmative psychologist in our hometown and I went to therapy there for two-three years. He helped me unravel my internalized homophobia and understand where all my self-hatred stemmed, which turns out to have nothing to do with my sexual orientation actually. I went through an whole program to increase my confidence and all that stuff. Can you believe one time my homework was to ‘ _go to gay club or an LGBT+ conference and try to befriend someone_ ’? I freaked out for three days about that.”

The bathroom is empty and not exactly sparkling clean. Their voices bumps against the walls and return to push them closer until at a point, Jeremy is not sure when, he hits his face on Nicky’s chest and picks the other’s arms to arrange them around his waist.

“Aye, Captain!“ Nicky replies cheerfully as he obediently tightens their hug. Jeremy giggles against him again.

“Who would have thought it?“ he says mostly to himself, but Nicky hums in return.

“That I would have gotten myself a Golden Retriever Boyfriend and you would have picked Tall Dark and Smoking Hot for yourself? I’m just saying, we must have really left an impression on each other!“

Jeremy swats meekly at his chest, but they’re both giggling like idiots and the motions loses its scolding meaning.

The door opens behind them and Nicky turns, but Jeremy just bends sideward at the waist to look who’s joining them.

Kevin looks very confused, very embarrassed and very flushed. He gets started on a stammering half-apology half-scolding and Jeremy can guess he’s probably misunderstanding and torn between hightailing his way out of here and pretending he’s never seen anything because Nicky and Jeremy are his friends, or get mad at them because Jean is Jeremy’s boyfriend and also, reluctantly, still Kevin’s friend.

“Hey Kev!“ Nicky interrupts him before the vein on his forehead can pop. “Join in! Group hug!“

Kevin blinks. “Hug?”

“Emotional Support Hug,“ Jeremy explains. “You should try. They’re wonderful.“

Kevin looks still bewildered so Nicky drags both himself and Jeremy closer to the door until he can grab his teammate and force him against their sides. “There, Your Majesty. Do you need a step-by-step guide to human interactions or do you know your way from here?”

“I’m not completely socially inept, Nicky!“ Still, Kevin does look kinda awkward as he wraps his arms around both Jeremy’s and Nicky’s backs. He looks between the two of them with a frown. “Why do we need the emotional support?“

Nicky looks at Jeremy. Jeremy shrugs.

“Just for old time’s sake,“ he says, and pulls his friends closer as he and Nicky resume snickering like misbehaving children. 

Kevin looks still confused, but at least he relaxes and holds them closer.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @agapantoblu, if we survive the Purge.


End file.
